Ndibomvu ndinje

 Uyini na umntu ngaphandle kwemvelaphi yakho? Siphuma ndlwini inye, kodwa asivani siyacalucalulana. Kunele kufika lo Wase-Ntshona, wasikhohlisayo saba ziintshaba. Uthe kuthi uphethe ukuphila, umqulu, umthetho, umnombo wobuntu bonke; uthe uphethe impucuko. Uthe konke esinako masikulahlele embo apho kudliwa ngendebe endala. Uthe iinkolo zakhe kukuphila kuthi masiyeke ukuzikhohlisa ngeziyalo zookhokho bethu. Uthe nguye indlela nguye inyaniso yobom. Uye wathi yena uphethe ubomi obungcono. Usibonise ilizwe elimbeje mbeje, usibonise ubunewu newu, yaluncuthu kuthi. 

Uye wathi iingcinga zethu zisemva, masihambe namaxesha utsho ejonga esihlahleni. Usithenge ngeendaba ezintsha, nemibono emitsha sathengeka, usigrogrise ngamalangabi azele amafutha ashushu sandywandywa. Uye wasenza amakhoboka. Uye wasenza oodinga sithebeni. Uye wasenza abangcatshi. Siye sangabalandeli bakhe abakhulu, siye sazizikhwenene sesandi sokunyathela kumahla ndenyuka bobubomi asakhele bona. Sisisizukulwana sokuqala sempucuko. Siyityeshele imithetho yookhokho bethu, yaye asizisoli. Nokuba idala impixano nozalo lwam kodwa ndiziva ndingumntu opheleleyo. Ndisisithunywa, mandipapashe uncuthu bobomi obutsha, ndizakuqala kulendlu yam, abantu bazabona kuthi. Ndingubani na mna? Ngumbuzo okudala ndizibuza wona lo. Kukho into elapha kum ngaphakathi, edala ixhala, isazela, ukungaqiniseki. Ndivuka ndinesikrokro. Ndibona ndingenayo impendulo. Ndizibona ndingumguqulelwa womnye umntu. Ndizalwa ngobokuqala, kodwa singamalolo kuba ezi zakuthi zihamba ngesidima. Inoba basithatha phi esisidima na bethu? Kungangathi baswele kuba bengenabo ubunewu newu, nempucuko le ndinayo. Lonto ayenzi madolwanzima xa sisekhayeni. Ungababona xa behombile siphuma sithi ndwanya amehlo kukothuka. Uthi utata bayazikhohlisa, kodwa mna andiboni ukuzikhohlisa. Ndibona abantu abazingcayo. Nangona nje ndithandwa Ngulo, kodwa obam ubomi bunkungu.

Ndingubani na mna xa ndingelilo ithenjwa? Ndingumntu onjani xa ndingenguye umlandeli? Noko ndicingba ndilibala elimdaka ngabom. Kukho apho kukho umnombo wam. Ndisuke ndalihlahla elihamba nje, ziphi iingcambu zam? Uthi utata ndinemikhwa engenayo inqubela, kodwa andiva zithonga kuba ndiyaphila emboleni. Bendiyiqabe izolo, kaloku kulapho utata andosule ubumnyama khona ngokutsho kwakhe ke phofu. Ikhaya ayiselo khaya kum, ndisuke ndalundwendwe. Ingqondo ayizinzanga isoloko isisiphithiphithi. Kukho lengulo ndinayo, yewethu emboleni ibimile ithe nto. 

Ndiliqaba? Ingathi sisenyeliso nje eso? Kaloku utata ubonyanya ukufa abantu ababomvu, uthi batsalela emva nezithethe zabo ezingabalulekanga. Kulapho ndifumana ubumi kuba utata undibonise ubomi apho ndizithandabuzayo ubumi bam. Kumandi emboleni, ndingumntu phambi koba ngumntu onantoni, kaloku okokuqala ebomini bam ndineempendulo ezonelisa intliziyo nengqondo yam. Ndiyahomba nam, owu yini ukukhululeka komphefumlo wam. Yazi utata ingqondo yakhe ithinjiwe, wenziwe imfama kuba kuthiwe imfundo bubumi bakhe kanti sisixhobo sobubomi siphila phantsi kwabo. Kunezinto azenzayo angazibuziyo kodwa usoloko enombuzo xa kuthiwa nasi iSintu.

Kudala ndisemboleni. Kuthe kanti izigrogriso zika tata bubuvuvu obenziwa kukungazi. Ndifike imbola le seyibumbatsha, ngenxa yokutshitsha kwesithethe. Ndiphinde ndalilolo kwakhona kuba baninzi abalandeli abafana notata. Bendilihlebo ekungcatsheni kwam, ndiyihlekisa ekuzifumaneni kwam. Intloni andinazo ngalembola, kuba iziyalo, iimfundiso, ubumna, inkolo , imbali, imibono, ingcambu ndiziqaba kobubuso bunyelisiweyo. Mandamkele izenyeliso zomvuzo wokuba nguMntu omgqibeleleyo, ngumntu onyathela phezu'kwezithuko ezibumba ubulwanyana, ezithandabuza ubuntu bam. Ingxaki ukuphuma kwalo sisizalisekiso soba ndingaliqaba elonyeliswayo kodwa andibolekanga ziimvo zamntu ngobam ubomi.

Ndiyayazi okuzomeleza: 

Uboma.

Ume. 

Umele ubumi bakho. 

"Noba singamaqaba kodwa siyaqiqa Noba kuthwa siqab'imbola kodwa amehlo avuliwe siyabona. Noba sijongelwa phantsi kodwa amehlo wethu siwaphose kophezulu. Xhuma mxhosa waseXhora angena amanzi endlini. Xathisa uxananaze uxabe kulomnyango ulwele abantu baseMzini. Umgquba uyopha, liyaphalala igazi, ilanga litshone emini. Mntu wakwantu owenziwa umntu ngabantu. Yenza Ubuntu ebantwini kuba kaloku litsho nelabantu bakudala. Umntu ngumntu ngabantu.." (Siziba, 2015).

Ndililo eli libomvu neenkomo zalo.

Ukwenda komfazi – Part 1

KULOTYOLWE kwagqitywa, manditsho nangona umfazi engagqitywa nje. Icekwa lilele nalo kaMathentamo ukuba alungise umntana wakhe. Umntu ke akagqitywa ukubunjelwa ubuntu. UFuniswa lo uyintombi uphelele; ukhutshiwe efukwini yaye uthonjisiwe. 

Abantu abadala bekhaya sele bekhona, kudala bezimasile, kukhona amaDingata asuka naseMbatshe. Oomakhelwane kudala bezimasile, kaloku lomzi ukwilali ebizwa ngoDingata kwaye ayothusi into yokuba ungqongwe ngamaDingata. Ndivumele xa ndisithi amaDingata onke ayephelele. 

Ahh!!! Zam'njini! "Ehh mzi ka Bhotomane, ka Tshowa, ka Gqumashe, ka Makotwana, masiwuqale lomsebenzi walentombi senjenje; Madingata nibiziwe apha kwaMathentamo - "Ehh ndim lo uZam'njini ONGCAMISA uFuniswa intombi yenu. Ndithi masazise ooyise ukuba simsa emendweni, ze angabuzwa ngooyise ukuba,’Funiswa ufuna ntoni na apha’? “Siceba ukumazisa nakoobawo bakhe bangambuzi ukuba ‘ungubani, ufuna ntoni na apha’? "Nje ngoko kwakuvunyelwene ukuba ngalo'mhla sizakumsa emzini UMTSHAKAZI okanye intombi le yethu. "Sizakwenza nje nto zika Makotwana; uFuniswa lo makahlanjwe kuqala ngeyeza lekhaya ISIHLAMBEZO, ebuhlanti ngumphathi-nduku, sizakulinda apha endlwini, membathiseni ibhayi kaloku, nimkhuse ubuze obu bakhe. "Bafazindini! – Qabani lomntana UMDIKI emva kocango. "Boomama bakwaDingata GUNGXISANI lomntana; nimnxibise iimpahla ezintsha zakhe ZOBUTSHAKAZI niyosilinda ENKUNDLENI nakugqiba. “Ukwenjenje ke maTshowa sizama ukujongisa ngasebuhlanti, EMAXHANTINI, lingade lithambeke ilanga, kukude kwaGcaleka". 

Ahh!!! Singathile! "Abafana mabasondeze ibhokhwe YOMNGCAMO ngasebuhlanti SIZONGCAMISA lomntana. Abantu bokuma bayaziwa ekhapha maTshowa, khokhela mphathi-nduku". 

Sisemaxhantini bayaphikisana ngokuvumisa abafana. Bafanele kuba inkundla igcwele iyaphuphuma, kufuneka umfana ovumisayo hayi lenqala.

Ahh!!! Ntab'oyolo khawuvumise nkosi.

Ahh!!! Dal'inqaba "Vumisa mfana"!

Atsho ukuvumisa uNontaba; Ehhhhh Nkooooosssi. Qo xa ethethayo uzamana ukutsho umfana ovumisa ehhh nkoooooosssi.

Ahh!!! Dal’inqaba "Yiyo le inkabi engcitha… (ehhh nkooooosi) "esimngcamisa ngayo lomntana, simsa kwaGcaleka eMaTshaweni...(ehhh nkoooosi). ”Siceba ke ukwazisa ooyise...(ehhh nkooooossssiii), abalele ukuthula ukuba iintombi yenu iyaphuma ngoluhlobo...(ehhhh nkooossii), iyokwenda... (ehhh nkoosssii), akazuphuma nje ngaphandle kwemvume yenu...(ehh nkooooosssiii), kaloku siceba ukudibanisa ooyise noobawo bakhe ayakubo...(ehhh nkosi). "Mphathi-nduku amade ngawetyala...(ehhh nkoooosssi), kudala ukwel'khaya... (ehh nkoooosi), masijike amabombo sifulathele umbandla sinjongise ngasebuhlanti..." (UTSHO UTHI AMADE NGAWETYALA MAKUNGENWE EBUHLANTI)ahh yavumisa into ka Nontaba.

Ahh!!! Singathile! "Umthathi ukho, ukhiwe, khuphani umkhono uzakufakwa e-emeleni, ulungiswe ngumphathi-nduku kwenzele izawutshwama lentombi. ”Mphathi-nduku lungisa umbengo, uzawutyiwa ngulomtshakazi noNootsula-Kome bakhe; unina abe kufuphi. "Iintloko mazihambe kunye nalomkhono womtshwamo. ”Ekufikeni kwethu NGORHATYA KUZAKUDLALWA; ndithetha ngalatshintshi tshintshi wezaswiti (iibhontile); sizawunikwa indlu kulamzi; wena Nomandwebi, nje ngoyisekazi wakhe uzaba YINKAZANA. "Uyawazi ke umsebenzi WENKAZANA; emva kocango! ”Inkunkuba kunye namabande siphuma nawo kulamzi emveni kwalomcimbi. "Kube kanti uwajonge ngeliso elubukhali, sizakuwalahla endleleni xa sibuyayo. ”Asifuni kusetyenziswe ububi ukutshisa lomntana ngeembiza kufuneka sityhole enye into”.

Ahh!!! Zam'njini! "Hheke, nantsi into ndiyilibala, ndiyabulela mkhuluwa wam, INKOMO YOBULUNGA yiyo le. ”UFuniswa lo uzakuxhwitha kuyo nabantwana bakhe. "Ukuwa kwayo, izawuphinde ivuswe nguye”. 

Ahh!!! Noleveni! "Ngesokusa ezintloko zizawuphekelwa oobawo bakhe, nincede nizihambise NESITSHETSHE ESITSHA kunye NESITYA ESITSHA. ”Intombi le no-NOOTSULA-KOME kufuneka begqibe LAMKHONO, kuyothi emva kwemini emveni koba besuka UKUYOTHEZA, NOKUYOKHA AMANZI kuphekelwe iindwendwe akugqiba asiwe KULANDLU INKULU AYALWE ngabantu basemzini wakhe”.

Ahh!!! Singathile! "Ehh siyacela maGcaleka...ehh siceba ukugoduka kodwa ke isithethe sithi kumele sishiye lamazwi besimnike wona ekhayeni kulandlu iinkulu. ”Sifuna nibe ngamangqina okuba akaphumanga nje, uyaliwe, ukhululwe ngooyise. "Nisibonisile ke nakanjalo ukuba WAMKELEKILE nalapha EMZINI wakhe, NIMYALILE, imizi nto zikaTshiwo ayifani ifana ngeentlanti nje kuphela. ”Yiyo lonto nisibizile ukuba sibe ngamangqina EZIYALO enithe nambekela zona; ukwenjenje sicela indlela maGcaleka”.

oNootsula-Kome

ITshowa eli aliziceleli indlela lodwa, litshayelelela nam mbhali. Sisiseko sobufazi esi. Asipheleli nje apha. Ze nilindele uduli sibone ukuba lisiphatheleni na lona. Ndibulela ukuncazelwa ngolwazi nguDalinqaba, Dadebawo uThumeka kunye noBazukile; ke lomondlalo wolwazi uthe waphoselwa iliso elijolise ekulungiseni iziphene ngumzukulwana ka Jako ndiyabulela Jalamba; kwekhu ndingamlibala njani na uFaku ka Ndayeni?

To My Lover: Part 1 Spoiled for choice.

To My Lover

Spoiled for choice

Have you hated someone for loving you too much and for desiring change in his past through you? Who would give up everything for you to be the best of the best?  Who is so blatantly naïve and knowingly commits to this blindness because you are his offspring that not even ‘Wintery’ odds could stop you from budding? Have you ever been selfish by wanting this suffocating love when life has made you want your last breathe to be imminent? Have you ever had love that’s so unique that makes you a stranger to your own surroundings? Have you ever been loved that there’s no love for anyone else to give? Have you ever been loved that assistance is doubted to be sufficient because this lover doesn’t assist, but inherits your hitch? One never realizes what he has when he is spoiled for choice, and who said we aren’t living our parents’ dreams?

I grew up in two worlds I wanted to belong to one that thought I was too intact and escape the other one I loathed even though demographically I belonged. I was educated belonged to the much hated ‘English-Language-Lovers’ ‘Non-Whites’ (Franz’s definition of another form of blacks), I wanted to be so ‘broken’ that I use to borrow my sister’s kakis so that I can pretend to go to the same school as hers. If it meant being one with my family meant to be so called broken then I wanted to be damaged. I admired ‘criminal minded’ beings they became my role models, admired their frustration which transcended into my rebellion so devoted in changing the world’s injustice. It could only be achieved by showing my loyalty; I had to join in their ideology and activities. I frowned upon English, ‘Coconuts’ even though I went to school with them, admired taxi drivers, hated TV games, loved the most inclusive sport (football), loved anything that was not new to my people, loved umasikandi music, made a promise to myself never to be like the other Ixopo going ‘pussies’. This meant I would want to be a lot of things in life, and what I aspire to should not shift me away from my people anything that would make me feel in deep into the world I loathed meant it wasn’t for me.

I wanted to be many things in life, a taxi driver, soldier, footballer, town planner, lawyer, architecture, artist, accountant Chartered Accountant (CA); many of these changed with time and were influenced by people who surrounded me. There one that came much later of which I thought I really wanted to be is an accountant, I hated accounting but the hype about it and the joy it brought to my lover made me want it more. Close to grade 12 I realised I would be too deep, I could picture the disconnection I wanted to pool away. My lover saw it as fear and low self-esteem which had some truth in it, but truthfully speaking people doing it lacked adventure, rebellion, a sense of debate I admired in people they seemed more into keeping the status quo. My lover was adamant he wanted me to do this, I mean we the race who cannot afford to experiment with the choices we make (Franz Fanon) I could not explain all this infatuation with insurgence, it was a scarce skill and I would be able to amend his past through my accomplishment. Mrs Forgarty saw a Philosopher the fact that I hardly spoke in class her opinion validated my envisioned quest in life besides these people (Philosophers) had a continuous internal debate in the pursuit of ‘human-development’. I admired and followed many of these people they are pro barred people of which my people were, but many of them did not study Philosophy it was inborn they had other careers. My lover had facts and I had dreams!

Livingstone High School Badge

Livingstone had geared me for whatever I could stand in the mist of giants, but the thought what academic jungle to conquer made sleep impossible thoughts was my rest. I studied in the Western Cape which had an exceptional matriculation pass rate which made passing nothing of an issue. I had applied to many prestigious Universities my subject choice meant with the right results I could follow any career, I was spoiled for choice. I struggle with how did I perform; did I get a D, C maybe I can be ambitious and say a B or an A average. I could not get my results or see my name in the papers I was at home and home papers didn’t show Western Cape or other provinces’ results, but my lover saw me dying from suspense and asked someone to go check for me. Maybe Merit to other people is an under achievement, but to me it was unbelievable some of the symbols alluded me most of my high school life. I was grateful, but this constant stanch of worrying didn’t allow me to celebrate. Where to from here?

My lover could not wait we had to go to Cape Town and follow through on my application, he made calls I went to enquire only to find out in other universities I have been accepted or could apply late and make it he had organised for me to speak with the right people and of cause I was rejected by others. I had University of the Western Cape (UWC), University of Stellenbosch, Cape Peninsula University of Technology (CPUT) Bellville and Cape Town campuses, I was spoiled for choice. All of these could not suffice to what I and my lover wanted; I wasn’t going to do accounting there and be a CA. 

Rhodes University Logo

It was the 19^th of January when we had exhausted our search for possibilities to our yearned for future, there were post boxes next to the lift while waiting for the lift it was common to pick pocket one’s posts box for new letters. There was a brown military letter with a red ‘Rhodes University Where Leaders Learn’ stamp it came when we took a decision for me to take a gap year apply again next year for the desired career. I opened it with an unchangeable idea of what I would do this year; do my licence and take a gap year. The news of the letter did not move me at all because although I have been accepted I still did not know what Bachelor of Commerce (BComm.) I was accepted for, that was the only game changer. My lover took it upon him to go consult and he was told I was spoiled for choice, ‘first year BComm subjects are the same one will choose his or her majors in second year’.

All Roads Lead to Rhodes

The Eastern Cape was calling me a land of AmaGqika that I have never heard off I did not know what to expect, but my lover’s commitment to his naiveté charmingly suppressed my nerves…TO BE CONTINUED

 

The end of the beginning

When the rein of Apartheid ended South Africa became a country of hope, but recently it has become one of hopelessness. This is due to poverty, crime, unemployment, inequalities; disastrous state of education, corruption, greed the list is endless. Those who suffer the brunt of this sordid boon of the past regime are those paralysed by the lack of means of ever escaping such an unpromising place. There are miracle stories of those who do flee such a place and become man amongst men, but we misconstrue this as a possibility for everyone to walk the same road. I call these miracle stories that rebel odds-exception to the rule that can never be true for everyone. We often believe our destiny is not defied by where we come from; our illusion sneaks in when we assume this wilful assertion dismisses the limitation of one’s background on one’s destiny.

I am defined as a class that has much growth promise and hope, but which is in-between the meagre and affluent state of our lives. I have experienced poverty and deprivation, but at list my background offered me hope to break away from the surge of breadline. This came by through education in previously disadvantage schools of Indians, Coloureds and church owned Black schools. Some of my peers who were not offered such an opportunity fully display the gaps that are sometimes blurry to me. The point of no return where one sees the importance of quality is during matriculation. This is the year where students and or schools compete for life elevation. It is quite ironic how we get surprised by the gap in achievements amongst students and schools, but all this time earlier standards reflected the future of one’s results.

The most difficult year in my formal education was grade 11; grade 12 was easy. What made grade 11 tricky was that it was the foundation on which to continue from in grade 12. What grade 12 had was too much work to cover, social activities of all kind, pressure of making it to the best university and choosing a viable career all of this was fitted in limited time. The stress of success, being better than ones parents and achieving as highly as possible haunted all those who received quality education. The question of failing never dawned in me it was a matter of how high my marks will be affording me a place in one of the influential universities. Success was inevitable, being better was predestined especially for us who were to be the first to go institutes of higher education, the teacher stuff and support made achieving highly foreseeable. If one felt so positive how could one fail? How did those who had no such resources feel? Did they give up? Did they feel inferior to other students? Did they put their dreams into hold to escape the mockery of realist? My fear of hypocrisy averts me from answering these painful questions.

What I battled with was choosing the right career and university, fortunately we had Vocational Guidance every Wednesday which afforded us the chance to do job shadowing, get presentations of  different careers and most importantly what subject choices met those careers. This occurred as early as grade 11, when I knew people who wanted careers which they could not do due to misguided subject choice. Universities around the Western Cape were also organised to come and tell us all about their institutions, there were career days where we went to them snooped around, looked at their brochures, asked questions and received the right answers. This happened in a country where I know people who have no access to such universities. These institutions went as far as selling their institution to us, claiming to be the best at what they do. It was a matter of choosing the institution that best suited you. How could one study towards his chosen career when his or her subject choice was wrong? How could one choose the right and best university when one has not heard of such institutions? It was in this class that I first discovered Rhodes University even though I am from the Eastern Cape. There was a folded form with no brochure lying around one of my classmate picked it up and asked, “What is this? Where is it from?” The teacher bestowed her wisdom sarcastically, “It’s written there on the form, and it’s a university from the Eastern Cape”. He threw it to me while uttering the not so startling words, “Eastern Cape (that’s what they called me), take this and apply”. I took it home to other forms from the University of Stellenbosch, University of the Western Cape, Cape Peninsula University of Technology, University of Cape Town, Witwatersrand University, and University of KwaZulu-Natal. I applied to all the only difference with this form to others was that these came with an envelope and a brochure; I applied with no presented guidance, and care from my side.

The environment was ideal for success, my father’s exceptional support granted nothing but success, the teachers’ magnificent skill advocated knowledge beyond measure and most importantly their shared wisdom of what to expect in University although it sometimes brought fear and unworthiness made entering higher education seamless. Although university is a place where one discovers himself my form of personal expression and knowledge loving was discovered in my latter years of my schooling. This occurred when I met women who loved power of knowing and wanting to know. Mrs Forgarty showed me the value of curiosity being on the quest of fighting not knowing and her teachings of the most important gear of higher education being research, discussion-essay construction, and referencing; Mrs Du Plooy’s intrigued love of efficiency and principled acquiring of knowledge with no favours and total inclusion; and Mrs Kay’s love and respect for her student beyond measure, knowing when to laugh and to be serious and knowing every students’ potential and warmly unleashing it.

I got all of this, but I received it with so much guilt as I could not walk sightless to escape witnessing the state of some in my families’, homeboys’ and home-girls’, countrymen’s education.

Cape Town come back to South Africa

Africa my Beginning

They came from the west

Sailing to the east

With hatred and disease flowing

From their flesh

And a burden to harden our lives

They claimed to be friends

When they found us friendly

And when foreigner met foreigner

They fought for the reign

Exploiters of Africa http://www.sowetanlive.co.za/goodlife/2011/07/08/africa-my-beginning-africa-my-ending 

I came from the East headed towards the west suffered from a disadvantage stereotype or belief although I believe I had no disease I suffered from uncertainty and abundant hope. Why was this? For the first time I was going to reside in an enormous city which was once hailed as Africa's capital city. I have had good things about it in fact all I ever heard was all good, 'I would be great there' I thought 'I would finally make it as a footballer'. I needed to settle, part of that meant I needed to find a school, not just a school, but a prestigious one. This involved putting on my Barnetts 'all weather' stuck in an office with my sister, father and a doubtful Principal. This was my first 'one on one' although it lacked any ‘da uomo a uomo’, my sister started it went well I suppose, but seemingly her definite success relied on me. My results were awful, I knew that I wanted to study there that's all ke qa, to the Principal seemingly my results weren't the problem, but where I came from. I came from the Eastern Cape where nothing good seemed to have descended behinds 'over glorified' liberators it's education, health and everything was flawed and beyond repairs. Taking me would be taking a product of that system, he chose to ignore that my educational foundation did not commence in that province (Eastern Cape). His misinformed notion of thinking all schools were defective took over him; I mean Holy Cross High School is one of the schools that hold educational achievement cradles for this beautiful but haunted province. Whatever I said meant nothing, to torture the deluded belief he actually thought I wouldn't survive diversity as if I have never had contact with Indian/Muslim/Coloured People, I went to school with these people we interacted with no regard of our identity.

'I have arrived', I thought

And 'fuck it' I told myself,

After he said 'I want you to tell me what you think I don't want to hear'

My response was silence,

With my dad interjecting 'kwedini thetha'

I was so disgusted by the thought of being undermined that I unashamedly responded by saying 'andifuni'. 

When we left that office with a desk and a chair in the bag I made a vow of achieving as highly as I can in his name, not to spite him but to show that the east is not all rotten. My dad's comment of me taking a break on football scared me forever I hated football receded from it for it only brought me pain and its educational competition had its odds in its favour. 

My philosophy was do everything you are asked, they know better ask no questions, study every day, express your heritage every time, sit in front, act confuse no one would expect anything from you and when you conquer 'they won't see you coming' (devil’s advocate), be in the shadows, don't be afraid of being forlorn... I knew as much as there were benefits for being different it came at a price of which I was willing to bear.  Firstly, I had competition driven by the same odd notion of lack of educational background I possessed due to my previous provincial situation. I made no affiliation to this challenge and when I conquered people continued to be surprised till I matriculated. I must say the environmental change was rife with the subject that I cruised in; in June I changed to the Standard Grade class where our fall was so important then their own rise. The work ethic of the previous class made me ndiceleze (venture with ease), not all was bad after all.

My solitude led to self-discovery and a lot of curiosity led to the love of words in books not just any books, but African literature. Thanks to the rebel Irish blood this was possible, my first thick book Indaba My Children was recommended by Ms Forgarty God rest his soul, in me she saw a philosopher don't know how since I dear to utter a single syllable. For the first time English was not a curse, but could be used to connect my heritage dots of expression, later strengthened by the inclusion of Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart in our curriculum; this concealed my anger of the racial characterization of Othello by William Shakespeare. My long trips were not in vain Mrs Du Ploy dug my automobile enabled vision I saw on the road; the rivers, landscape and diverse climate I witnessed and experienced was advantageous what we learnt in Geography I saw and knew. The close relation I had with nature and drawing meant Physical Science would be possible to conquer, thanks to Mrs Kay she realised my potential and the first time in a while I was marked, the answers I produced at UCT scientific invitation confirmed her inkling. 

The Table Mountain

A place of beauty and rekindling of hope is where I resided, but my township trips painted a bleak picture not all were beautiful in the mother city.   What contributed towards the segregation and naiveté was the mountain that captured the prisoners who were on route to the East for spices. They came for the Mountain and the Mountain is what they got. The closer you are to this overrated natural structure the better you are. I could see it from my bedroom window, it was in the periphery but I could see it. The scene of seeing uTamkhulu Two dying with no honour for a farm that he so much identified with in a room so cold, sunless and small that could have contributed to his death made me become conscious of the economic gap that I and my family embodied. They came from the east, they served the mountain like everyone not on it, but they were further away so their service was vainly rewarded. I saw two worlds in my time there, a fight for crumbs between Coloured and Black instilled by Whites, I saw a picture visible to the whole South Africa a picture of perfection, Cape Town extends further than the natural structure, I saw a place where being foreign or white meant being treasured with no contestation, I saw gang ridden Cape Flats with no prospects of growth in the ground where sand blinded the masses for tomorrow would arrive with a forced smile, but most importantly I saw a country on its own. If you still dwell in one of the British Colonies come back to South Africa...

iXhora yidolopu hayi mani!!!!!!!!!!

KuCwebhe

‘It is s ironic how exotic people describe a place we just see as home; some yearn for the lavish lands with grandeur buildings the likes of America. We live here or they live I only come during vacation here; frustration, hunger, lack of activity suppresses the awareness of beauty all due to the race created by technology. Making us linger for a sudden life exchange...glad you found the pure untainted nature ravishing your imagination...stories shared by people from afield of how great Xhora is brushes off the shame of proudly saying I am from Xhora!’ (This was my two cents comment I wrote on Tones of Home: The Village of Hobeni Cwebe (Cwebhe)) a blog of Mario Machado it transcended the thought of telling the world; it's the world wide web after all, of us amaBomvana while creating pride and tarnishing the shame that has become of my people. I want us to realise that what we are is also valuable and purely humanistic as displayed by the picturesque nature we sometimes shamefully call home.

kukude ekhaya ngenyawo Sophephe mani!!!!!!!!!

I cannot stress how fortunate I am, to be part of the lineage of the great Bomvana people of the great Mbashe and the Wild Coast. The stories shared by the elders I had the pleasure to let my ear linger for the brain arousing sensation of thought provoking pleasures of imagination. The stories were of current activities and of the sad past left behind because of westernisation, in this instant all I can do is imagine and create my own picture guided by these old folks' tales. They speak of umtshotsho, intonjane, umtshato, umgidi, umendiso, ukuqatywa kwabantwana, ukukhutshwa efukwini, ulwaluko, iindidi ngendidi zembola, isiphorha, ubufazi, ubudoda, amankazana, abafazi, umtshakazi, ikrwala, umfana, amakhwenkwe, amatyagi, ukuhlonipha, umtshilo, intlombe, umngqungqo ndibala ntoni na. Their events or depictions of these events are so recent that I thank God (uQamata) that I witnessed some and their memory still speak of what they lived and acted rather than books miswritten due to influence by lost or westernised cultural thoughts; thank God ubuqobhoka busandul'fika eXhora bendiyakwazi ntoni?

Donald Zweliyanyikima Woods

"Donald James Woods was born in Mbashe, Eastern Cape. His parents, Edna and Jack were of Irish and English descent respectively. In the early 1900s Jack walked 300 kilometres to set up a trading station at Hobeni on the banks of the Mbashe River. At his birth on 15th December 1933, there was a complication which the local white doctor was unable to fix. Riding 40 kilometres cross-country on an impulse from Idutywa, Tiyo Soga’s grandson, Dr Lex Soga, arrived at Hobeni and immediately remedied the problem. Born among the amaBomvana at Hobeni, he was given the Xhosa name Zweliyanyikima - "the world shakes", by the Bomvana people. He spoke Xhosa for three years before he spoke English. This helped him later on in life when arranging meetings with Robert Sobukwe and Steve Biko who were both banned at the time." (http://www.donaldwoodsfoundation.org/donald-woods-profile-details.cfm). 

Sinebango ngwelilizwe iyangqina imbali, the fact that Donald Woods was born amongst my people and shared ideas with the greatest revolutionaries of our liberation cannot be ignored, Xhora unebango kwelilizwe, when the Pan Africanist Congress PAC was banned the POQO movement made sure this congress does not disappear with time it all happened along the banks of the great Mbashe river. The journey of Dick King from Durban to Grahamstown left footprints of the horse as it trotted hard and tirelessly on the rich black soil. The grave of King Sarhili lies kwaGcaleka ngaseTsholorha, apho amakhwenkwe akwaGcaleka ayelala khona kwimfazwe zabo namakhwenkwe waseMngazane this is known as the war of the axe kodwa it came due to petty disputes, apho kukho impunzi engazingelwayo ilifu lisoloku lilele. KwelikaS'gcawu kulapha ngapha kwendlela kwasekhaya eMngazana apho kwakukho ithonto lika Sigcawu, if you deny the richness of such history you deny your own heritage. The discovery of the original Xhosa word for a female Springbok; Imbakazi rather than the misnomer of Imbabalakazi, the Fort Hare professor had to go eXhora to hear this; uyeva? Unedlebe nje unetyala!

abakhwetha bazekutshila

I thank my father for being always keen on sharing these stories some of which he has seen, but many have vague memories and few he have heard of. I know my interest gave him so much joy his face glimmered whenever I so much inquired. When he first told me about umtshilo I wouldn't picture it I tried to let my mind set itself afar back in time, it came back with no image. He told me that abakhwe that came from afar ukuzotshila kwaban’, if you were good you were destined to be known emazweni (the world didn't extend much beyond the fringes) owaye waziwa ngokutshila amaziyo ngumzala wakhe the late Zweliyatshukuma. The tall people were better equipped for this display and Zweliyatshukuma was tall as his mother who was my grandfather's sister. Okay me and my dad are short took my grandmother's height. This was the initiates dance done kwasokhaya, it was such a big deal that people went as far as ukuthwala and doing all kinds of things just to see their favourite win over the crowd doing body manoeuvring moves. The preparations were quite thorough ranging from announcements, now announcements are mainly word of mouth up until today mainly done where many people are present mainly esicini. The display provided such great pleasure amongst the audience, the movements of bodies with animal prints covered at the waist with umhlanti. The winner was pronounced by the best movement of the waist and constant poking gestures or rhythmic extension of the hands while looking away from the women. The great tale that still lives on amongst many is that okaSo...(forgot the father's name) lost because wabekwelwa ameva ngenye indada kuba efuna angogqithi umkhwetha amthandayo. This might seem as petty stories with no explicit value, but trust me I have met people who hanker for such stories many nations were based on great legends of their people as they evolved with time. They don't shy away from their past, you are your past as there is no present without future, no past without the present and present situations which influence our choices are constructed by one's past.