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Friday 25 January 2013

The end of the beginning



When the rein of Apartheid ended South Africa became a country of hope, but recently it has become one of hopelessness. This is due to poverty, crime, unemployment, inequalities; disastrous state of education, corruption, greed the list is endless. Those who suffer the brunt of this sordid boon of the past regime are those paralysed by the lack of means of ever escaping such an unpromising place. There are miracle stories of those who do flee such a place and become man amongst men, but we misconstrue this as a possibility for everyone to walk the same road. I call these miracle stories that rebel odds-exception to the rule that can never be true for everyone. We often believe our destiny is not defied by where we come from; our illusion sneaks in when we assume this wilful assertion dismisses the limitation of one’s background on one’s destiny.
I am defined as a class that has much growth promise and hope, but which is in-between the meagre and affluent state of our lives. I have experienced poverty and deprivation, but at list my background offered me hope to break away from the surge of breadline. This came by through education in previously disadvantage schools of Indians, Coloureds and church owned Black schools. Some of my peers who were not offered such an opportunity fully display the gaps that are sometimes blurry to me. The point of no return where one sees the importance of quality is during matriculation. This is the year where students and or schools compete for life elevation. It is quite ironic how we get surprised by the gap in achievements amongst students and schools, but all this time earlier standards reflected the future of one’s results.
The most difficult year in my formal education was grade 11; grade 12 was easy. What made grade 11 tricky was that it was the foundation on which to continue from in grade 12. What grade 12 had was too much work to cover, social activities of all kind, pressure of making it to the best university and choosing a viable career all of this was fitted in limited time. The stress of success, being better than ones parents and achieving as highly as possible haunted all those who received quality education. The question of failing never dawned in me it was a matter of how high my marks will be affording me a place in one of the influential universities. Success was inevitable, being better was predestined especially for us who were to be the first to go institutes of higher education, the teacher stuff and support made achieving highly foreseeable. If one felt so positive how could one fail? How did those who had no such resources feel? Did they give up? Did they feel inferior to other students? Did they put their dreams into hold to escape the mockery of realist? My fear of hypocrisy averts me from answering these painful questions.
What I battled with was choosing the right career and university, fortunately we had Vocational Guidance every Wednesday which afforded us the chance to do job shadowing, get presentations of  different careers and most importantly what subject choices met those careers. This occurred as early as grade 11, when I knew people who wanted careers which they could not do due to misguided subject choice. Universities around the Western Cape were also organised to come and tell us all about their institutions, there were career days where we went to them snooped around, looked at their brochures, asked questions and received the right answers. This happened in a country where I know people who have no access to such universities. These institutions went as far as selling their institution to us, claiming to be the best at what they do. It was a matter of choosing the institution that best suited you. How could one study towards his chosen career when his or her subject choice was wrong? How could one choose the right and best university when one has not heard of such institutions? It was in this class that I first discovered Rhodes University even though I am from the Eastern Cape. There was a folded form with no brochure lying around one of my classmate picked it up and asked, “What is this? Where is it from?” The teacher bestowed her wisdom sarcastically, “It’s written there on the form, and it’s a university from the Eastern Cape”. He threw it to me while uttering the not so startling words, “Eastern Cape (that’s what they called me), take this and apply”. I took it home to other forms from the University of Stellenbosch, University of the Western Cape, Cape Peninsula University of Technology, University of Cape Town, Witwatersrand University, and University of KwaZulu-Natal. I applied to all the only difference with this form to others was that these came with an envelope and a brochure; I applied with no presented guidance, and care from my side.
The environment was ideal for success, my father’s exceptional support granted nothing but success, the teachers’ magnificent skill advocated knowledge beyond measure and most importantly their shared wisdom of what to expect in University although it sometimes brought fear and unworthiness made entering higher education seamless. Although university is a place where one discovers himself my form of personal expression and knowledge loving was discovered in my latter years of my schooling. This occurred when I met women who loved power of knowing and wanting to know. Mrs Forgarty showed me the value of curiosity being on the quest of fighting not knowing and her teachings of the most important gear of higher education being research, discussion-essay construction, and referencing; Mrs Du Plooy’s intrigued love of efficiency and principled acquiring of knowledge with no favours and total inclusion; and Mrs Kay’s love and respect for her student beyond measure, knowing when to laugh and to be serious and knowing every students’ potential and warmly unleashing it.
I got all of this, but I received it with so much guilt as I could not walk sightless to escape witnessing the state of some in my families’, homeboys’ and home-girls’, countrymen’s education.

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